Monday, April 6, 2015

Archived Review From Film Threat

The now defunct website gave Gonzomentary an amazing review in 2012, which we have copied from an internet archive.

Clark: A Gonzomentary 

Review posted on Dec. 30, 2012 by Mark Bell.
Four out of Five Stars

William Clark is an artist and DJ; a master of the penis sculpture. James Curcio, or J.C., is his manager and patron, who is convinced the only way to get good art out of Clark is to keep him drunk or drugged out of his gourd. Daniel Dw is the documentary filmmaker hired by J.C. to film Clark. Got that? Because that’s as straightforward as it gets.
What results from Dw’s footage is a “gonzomentary,” a mix of fourth-wall busting filmmaking, mockumentary, Gonzo journalism and whatever else can be added into the mix, which includes: Uncle Binky the pedophile clown; a Christian producer/investor who wants the film to contain no swearing, no drinking and no drugs, right before she has a crisis of faith and becomes a mime; a silent film; Tito the drug dealer, who is actually a British actor (David Proch) stuck in a Method acting Hell and Daniel’s own descent into madness while chronicling the adventures of Clark and J.C. And penises. Lots of penises.
Clark: A Gonzomentary Part 1 is a whole bucket of crazy, and I really enjoyed it for all of its insanity. At no point did I really have a grasp on what I was watching, as it constantly turns in and over on itself. Even when I’d come up with a criticism to lodge at it, the film itself would find a way to address.
For example, at one point the film’s dynamic between Clark and J.C. becomes repetitious and stale: Clark says he doesn’t need money, calls J.C. a parasite and J.C. points out how wrong he is. This “conversation” happens quite often in the film, and the moment I started to make note of how old it was getting, the film started fucking with its own audio, looping the two going back and forth at each other. In other words, the film was just as annoyed as I was; it’s like the film itself had become self-aware.
And to address the premise that sculptures and scribbles of penises are not art, and that’s one of the main jokes J.C. makes at Clark’s expense, I recently visited the World Erotic Art Museum in Miami, Florida and let me tell you, friends… penises are art-friendly. Sculptures, paintings, doodles, you name it; that museum was full of dick. I evenposed for a couple pictures with a giant golden penis. In other words, even when you think of the most obvious absurd moments of this film, it’s really not that absurd.
Well, the whole cutting off someone’s face and wearing it might be absurd, and the silent film aspect is a little silly. OH! And the random grindhouse-style teaser trailer for A Gonzomentary Part 2, focusing on Tito, was pretty out there too. Fuck it, this film is a mess of nutty… but I liked it.
In the end, this is the type of film that is so all over the place, you really don’t need to watch it in one sitting. Have a party, get drunk (or whatever) and just put this thing on loop. It’ll be just as much fun if you don’t know what’s going on as if you watch it and take notes (equally not knowing what’s going on). Again, it’s a fun clusterfuck; the idea of a “gonzomentary” truly realized.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

More approval from people you should listen to

Steven Johnson Leyba is an artist, painter, fine art book maker, author, spoken word performance artist, and musician. He has been called the father of “Sexpressionism”

In 1994 he was made a Reverend in the Church of Satan by Anton LaVey.

And he thinks Clark: A Gonzomentary is an amazing movie.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Gonzomentary: so good, it's bad.


In 2010, Clark: A Gonzomentary, a mockumentary webseries about an eccentric artist exploded onto the internet with almost like 200 views per episode. It wasn't quite fiction and it wasn't quite true, and then it got even more complicated. Then it became a movie that looked behind the scenes of making the webseries resulting in a chaotic timeline of events that leaves viewers bewildered. It was all done on purpose by accident. And the end result is a brilliant and ingenious film that is so terrible and poor that people think it's brilliant and ingenious.

(from wikipedia)   Since its release, Clark: A Gonzomentary has received acclaim from critics  somehow by being a bad movie that disguises itself as a terrible movie trying to be a "so bad it's good" movie, which totally backfired and people actually thought it was a good movie.  But even more curiously, those who thought it was a bad movie didn't seem to get the first layer of the joke that it was a terrible movie trying to be a "so bad it's good" movie, and totally missed out that it was a bad movie disguising itself as a terrible movie trying to be a "so bad it's good" movie, and even further missed how good the movie was for doing that, but also didn't get to the final conclusion how bad it was in the end result. So they're right, but also wrong.

In 2012, Clark: A Gonzomentary was given a four-star review and deemed "a gonzomentary truly realized" by Film

Then it won the Outstanding Lead "Actor" Award in a comedy and Outstanding "Writing" at The 2013 LA Web Series Festival for its original web series, while receiving an Honorable Mention for Best Documentary at the sixth annual Philadelphia Independent Film Festival for its full-length feature version.

It may have even won more awards if the director didn't get sick of screening it at film festivals. Somehow it kept getting recognized as an amazing work, perhaps due to the rhetoric in the movie itself that tells audiences that it's an amazing film, while showing the complete opposite, but in reality it is a terrible film while fabricating the complete opposite, admittedly by the director and writer himself and the actors, who created a movie that was purposely made to look like it was "so bad it's good" joke on audiences, that they fell for hook, line and sinker. A joke so meticulously planned and well executed within aimless and purposeless chaos on set that no one ever understood what the joke was and never came around to realize how bad this movie actually is - which made it good.  All in all, just like that last paragraph, it's made to be so goddamn confusing that people will just say they think a bad movie is good, even as a fake "so bad it's good" type of movie, which is completely brilliant.

Now in 2014, Clark: A Gonzomentary is a cult classic, cherished by niche groups sick of the saturation of "so bad it's good" movie genre, and embraced as a movie that is so good it's bad. Brilliantly accidentally stupid. It's the pantheon of great films that are actually terrible. It is the "Citizen Kane" of Citizen Kane of Bad Movies Analogies.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Gonzo Film Festival Experience

We're adding another laurel to our movie's resume.

Somehow we were nominated for the "Best Documentary" category, does that mean that everything was actually real? Or has this movie become sentient in some weird way and it's trolling us now?

First I want to thank the people at The Philadelphia Independent Film Festival for showing our movie and doing a really great job, and thanks to everyone who came out and supported us. Now that that's over with, I'm going to do what I do best; complain.

For a few weeks before the festival, our name was misspelled all over the place. People thought it was "Clark: A Gonzometry" and not "Gonzomentary" and that phone conversation went like this:

"This is (so and so), can I help you?"

"Yeah, the name of my movie is misspelled, it's 'Gonzomentary' not 'Gonzometry'"


 "'GON-ZO-MENT-ARY' not 'GON-ZOM-ET-RY.' What the fuck does 'Gonzometry' mean? 'Gonzometry" isn't even a word! Why can't people spell the made up word I created correctly?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about, gonzom-what? Who is this and what do you want?"

"This is DANIEL and I made 'CLARK: A GONZOMENTARY' and it's misspelled on the schedule and websites for the film festival!"

"Okay... so? What do you want me to do about it?"

"SO? This is IMPORTANT! I want you to FIX IT!"

"I'm sorry sir, I can't do anything about the title of your film. Please do not abuse 9-1-1."


(hangs up)

Then to make it simpler they dropped the "Clark: A" and shortened it to "Zometry" which sounds like a film about zombies doing geometry, or zombie poetry. Either way, the concept sounds like the next logical step in zombie movies. Maybe they thought it was "Zoometry" which is the study of the sizes of animal parts, which probably should have a documentary created for education purposes.  Hmm... my gears are turning.

The night of the screening started out great. The Franklin Institute decided to enhance the entire experience last minute by closing the main entrance forcing people to go through a small side door that had no markings of an entrance that lead people on their way through a labyrinth. They also wanted to make it more fun by taking down and ripping signs directing people to the theater. So many people got lost and never surfaced to the event. An event, I want to add, that wasn't just screening our movie, but others as well, an event that the Franklin Institute never bothered to advertise unlike the other venues involved.

Shown: Hoards of eager fans and curious critics
rushed in to fill the seats of the theater
All in all the graciousness of the Franklin Institute hosting abilities really made us feel like we were being taken seriously because whenever I go watch a film I definitely expect the four things that Franklin Institute did so well to help make happen:

A) Not know where to go to find the theater the movie is playing in.
B) Have a staff that doesn't have a clue that the film is playing or that the event is happening.
C) Be directed incorrectly to the location of the theater.
D) Have to take 2 elevators, two flights of stairs, circle around to make u-turns, go down long hallways and multiple rooms to get to the theater that was hidden upstairs in a corner with no easily visible signage.

One person who couldn't get through the maze asked me later if this "movie screening" was just a prank I was pulling to add to the mystique and faux myth of Gonzomentary. So I would again just like to thank the Franklin Institute for being so unique in the way they host what one of them called "less important" events.

Apparently an "important" event was a bunch of snobby rich people viewing show cars for a benefit for victims of cerebral palsy. Even though people with cerebral palsy can't usually drive - but they can watch movies. Therefore I feel that Clark: A Gonzomentary has done much more to benefit people with cerebral palsy than this "United Cerebral Palsy of Philadelphia" group could ever do or has done.

We don't have many pictures from the event, because it was so uncomfortable for us to watch that we ran out as soon as we could. But to the right is a picture of me frantically helping the P.I.F.F. crew make "breadcrumb" posters to help people through the labyrinth which the employees at Franklin kept tearing down.

The projector was unfortunately pretty dark, so many scenes ended up being a black screen with blobs. Afterward Clark mentioned to the crowd that this was acting and he is not the same person as shown in the film, regardless of the fact that the night before he belligerently threw pizza on my floor and wandered off into the street at 3am screaming obscenities and woke up on Tito's outdoor steps the next day an hour before the movie started.

The idea that he was acting was negated however when we were nominated for "Best Documentary" which validates that everything you see in the movie was fact and true. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, even though at another festival we were awarded "Outstanding Lead Actor" and nominated for "Outstanding Writing."  It's both reality and fiction, which sometimes the reality is fake and the fiction is real and the real is ... fabricated but the fabrications are like, true... sometimes... maybe. Kinda. I don't know anymore. I'm tired of talking about it. Leave me alone.

 We didn't win Best Documentary, but received an Honorable Mention, which I believe is either runner up or second runner up. Whichever, I'll take it, but I have no idea how this happened. I watched the movie and thought it was garbage. Seriously. I hate Clark. I hate Gonzomentary. I'm not being hard on myself. I am speaking objectively, it is a shitty movie, and the point was to make people believe a shitty movie was good or clever by attrition from authority.  I guess it's working, but it gives me the hunger to do something actually good and artistic, so I am. Look for "Zometry" in theaters next year.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

A Gonzomentary Truly Realized

Watch the trailer for the movie that critics have called "a gonzomentary truly realized"
(and due to the fact I made up that word I'm glad we were able to realize the word that I made up.) 

Clark: A Gonzomentary will premier Friday June 28th, 2013, 5pm EST at the Franklin Institute, Philadelphia PA. 
Tickets available at

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hard Water: The H2O Conspiracy

In a world where the government controlled the minds of their citizens by injecting fluoride in the water supply, Elijah Wormwood discovers that it might not be the fluoride, but the water itself.


Binky 2012

Unkle Binky is finally out of prison and he's ready to inject some love into American politics. Don't vote for the lesser of two evils this Fall, vote for the ex-con hobo clown who is legally required to tell you that he lives in your neighborhood. 

Watch the full playlist (8 videos) here.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

New LSD's: A Far Out Menace

A public service announcement providing important warnings about the effects of a lurking menace that is within the seedy underbelly of every American neighborhood. NEW LSD's are a dangerous new drug that leads impressionable youth astray into waking nightmares of existentialistic thinking and cannibalism.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Original Clark: A Gonzomentary Web Series

Before it was a movie, before it was accepted into film festivals, before it had won singles of awards, Clark: A Gonzomentary was once a non-successful web series on youtube. Hard to believe that it's grown from such small humble beginnings to now be a full length movie on youtube. Watch the entire first season here in this playlist. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Space Snatch

This unfortunately titled short film was Gonzomentary Films' first (formerly Exodus Films) and up until this point was just a mythical urban legend that it had even happened. I wouldn't even acknowledge that it existed for years but now after 3 cups of coffee I'm pretty sure it's the best video to ever existed and now it's public until I decide to take it down in 5 minutes.